we never change.
its the same ups and downs over and over. cable car following cable car until the wire finally snaps.

what is the meaning of my life now?
i wish i could begin again, shed my skin and let the sun shine in. by the edge of the ocean...

im far away from home, and when i close my eyes i see where i should be. and i should have been there yesterday. it feels like its too late today.

i've been wandering through the years inside my mind. every rich memory, full of insignificant Detail: the smell of the day, the harsh sunlight, the biting cold. other things so personal and so precious to me that i know i'll never get back.

what have i learnt? what do i have to show for the decisions i made? where are my old friends? i feel lost without their presence lending solidity to my memories. everything feels like a dream. how much of what i remember actually happened?

why are my memories so vivid and why does my present feel like its slipping though my fingers? minute by minute, second by second, like the grains of sand on my memory-beach. just out of reach.