verstehen?

Once again we sit in silence
After all is said and done
Only emptiness inside us
Baby, look what we've become

We can make a million promises
But we still won't change
It isn't right to stay together
When you only bring each other pain

I don't wanna cry
Don't wanna cry
Nothing in the world
Could take us back
To where we used to be
Though I've give you my heart and soul
I must find a way of letting go
'Cause baby, I don't wanna cry

Too far apart to bridge the distance
But something keeps us hanging on and on
Pretending not to know the difference
Denying what we had is gone

Every moment we're together
It's just breaking me down
I know we swore it was forever
But it hurts too much to stay around

All the magic's gone
There's just a shadow of a memory
Something just went wrong
We can't go on make-believing...

i would've bought that for you..

So I texted him, 'no special weekend plans?'

'weekend plans..i'm not free today :( gotta go to d press n then straight 2 dinner, saiba..then off to edge.. c's birthday..'

'hmmm. edge is my saturday night hangout place'

'you coming...?'

'depends on what my edging partner's doing tonight... why? do you want me to come?'

'hehe.. that would be interesting! .. very edgy.'

'really? and why is that?'

'The expressions on my friends faces would be priceless lol.. '

'why? what have you told them about me?'

'i just told them your name..to keep some mystery hehe.. which is always good :) cool. cya there.. these friends of mine havent seen you though..'

So i went there with my edging partner hehe. she didn't require much convincing, she loves going dancing as much as i do.

i walked into edge, dark and not very crowded as it was still early. spotted him in ten seconds. the music was good, but not very good and it took me a minute or so to get into the mood.

but it never takes me long anyway...

he texted: 'i'm in'

'me too'

'cant find u! looking!'

'i found you already :)'

it took him ten mins to locate me. he walked towards me from the bar, he was holding a beer. there was transient hand touching as the bottle changed hands. i glugged. glug glug glug. man, alcohol feels so good.

we danced for two minutes, and in that time i finished half his beer. then he said he had to go back to his group and left. but he kept coming back at regular intervals.

(he told me later: my group didn't help much.. they were literally pushing me away to dance with you lol.)

at some point he asked me if i wanted to be introduced to his group. and i was like yeah sure, if u want to. so i was introduced to all of them. 'S, from 4th sem, she was on my board'

(also something he told me later: his friends thought i looked smart, to which m said that i got second highest in forensic medicine, haha. and they all thought i was hot (?), and they asked for an introduction)

at some point, r called me out so i could get him inside. he paid cover charge and we went back inside. now the thing with r is that he doesnt do alcohol. so i stole his coupon and got more alcohol  for me(2 vodkas, one for my edging partner).

m saw the glass in my hand and asked me where i got it.
i said, 'r bought it for me..'

'i would've bought it for you'

i melted a little bit right then.  that one sentence told me everything for certain.

i told him i bought it off r's cover charge. and went back to dancing. leaving everything else unsaid between us.

oh no

i'm high

and i think i'm in love

and im lost, i dont know what to do...

For M:

It creeps up on us slowly.
This realisation that it's impossible
To know someone through the words they write.
But even more so,
To know someone through the words they speak.
And so I prefer to write,
As honestly as I possibly can:

Picking and choosing words that fit best
Agonising over choice.
But all that's left in the end
Is your disbelief at everything I've said
When will you realise
That if I was making it up,
I wouldn't care about my words half as much,


And your disbelief would mean nothing at all.

End Point - Reflections

Its too early, but we're running out of time
The darkness surrounds us, and its also between us
All night I've been trying to make sense of that line
But I can't understand what it is that divides us
And my mind
Is still undefined
But we keep walking, and I pretend its alright.


Still too early to tell if those shadows truly exist
But I can read into you like the pages of a difficult book
The road's twisting and turning faster than i can predict
And in the end, there's nothing left for me to do but look
Inside my mind
And though it's still undefined
We're walking ahead, and I know we'll be alright