random update

i was supposed to read one book a month but im reading faster than a book a week. i was done with two books by tuesday. and today i guiltily opened Murakami's short stories and read two stories before i convinced myself to shut the book again. and i will have to continue to do that, for a book once opened is a constant temptation for me. i have to know whats next and every free minute of my time is spent doing that. i even give up on my afternoon between classes nap for that purpose. which leaves me drained at the end of the day. not saying much because im usually emotionally and physically drained at the end of the day no matter how many hours i slept in the afternoon.

but. i need to save these books. for the days i'll REALLY need them. which is atleast two months from now when end postings begin again and i'll need something to take my mind off things and stop my hands from shaking.

i started OBG this week. and its not very tough as of now. more laid back than other postings because i just have to present when im scheduled to present. a very good system. this is the best month to catch up on those heavy textbooks, namely, Bailey and Love, or surgery in general. i dont know jack in surgery. every other subject still seems manageable right now, even though thats also quite far from the truth.

i am fat and im not going to be getting any thinner at this rate. how is it that medicine leaves me more tired than ive ever been before in my life, but it still wont make me lose weight? ugh.

things were good over the weekend but have been getting progressively worse after. its just two weeks since i got back from home and i just want to go back there again.
im slipping back into the old depressed state i used to be in and im really not interested in dragging anyone down with me (so please shut up and dont bring this up) this time. ive had enough of the bitching done behind my back, and i think the best policy is that if u cant be nice, you should just suck it up and keep your mouth shut.

Miracle Drug

is a song from u2's album 'How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb'
It is a song about this Irish writer, Christopher Nolan.

Bono said of Nolan (from wikipedia)

'We all went to the same school and just as we were leaving, a fellow called Christopher Nolan arrived. He had been deprived of oxygen for two hours when he was born, so he was paraplegic. But his mother believed he could understand what was going on and used to teach him at home. Eventually, they discovered a drug that allowed him to move one muscle in his neck. So they attached this unicorn device to his forehead and he learned to type. And out of him came all these poems that he'd been storing up in his head. Then he put out a collection called Dam-Burst of Dreams, which won a load of awards and he went off to university and became a genius. All because of a mother's love and a medical breakthrough.'

"Miracle Drug" was played live at every show of the first and second legs of the Vertigo Tour, with Bono using the song (and the story of Nolan) as a means of expressing his appreciation for doctors, nurses, and others in the medical field.

i hate this stupid blog. why does it even exist

dream

and she killed herself 2 days before she went home. like anne frank, who died a month before liberation.