little sister...

21 September 2007

On schedule for my second hep B shot (thats something i definitely DO NOT want to pick up from a needle stick injury). Like one of my surgery professors emphasised: "If you do get hep B, make sure its from pleasure and not from a patient". Dark humor.
Hep B, by the way, is chronic hepatits, and spreads like HIV, except that a REALLY minute amount of blood contamination: 0.000001ml is enough. For HIV you need around 0.1 ml which is almost a drop.

Anyway, so I was in my apron at pediatrics OPD that morning, waiting for the overworked nurse to find 3 mins to spare to give me my shot.

I saw this little girl there, she must've been four or five years old. She was in a white skirt, and her ringlet hair was short and pinned back. She looked happy, more than happy, she looked healthy. She wasnt smiling or anything, but her face was very.. content. I think she reminded me of me.

I told my friend (he'd come along to make sure i dont collapse on the way back. AS if!) that i thought the kid was cute. He was shocked....having spent more than ten minutes around me, he was well aware that i do not enjoy children the way most normal people do.

The girl's doctor (I'm presuming) came into the treatment room, I was standing just outside. She took the girl in, telling the mother to wait outside. Then she motioned for me to come over. I hesitated, not knowing whether it was me she really wanted. But it was.

I went in. "Are you final sem?"
"No, ma'am, I'm just third sem"
"Ok. Doesn't matter. Stay and help me"
I nodded, but I don't think she noticed. she went and locked the door.

I was nervous. Locked in the Ped Treatment room with a 5 year old patient and her doctor. Most of that made me uncomfortable. So I asked her:
"What do you need me to do?"
"Wait, I'll show you"
She brought out several vials of drugs, needles, cotton, alcohol, etc on a tray.

She extended the girl's tiny arm, found a vein on the dorsum of the hand and said to me "Hold her wrist. Tight"

So I did. The child was looking at me. She dint even flinch as the needle went in. Doc started pumping drugs into her. Was she used to this? I'd expect most children to cry, yell. How was she so confident with her mother not even in the room?

"Nimma hesaru enu?" I asked, to distract her. What's your name.
"Rashmita"

I wanted to ask her more... about school and friends and stuff, but i dint know enough of the language.
The Doc was done in a few minutes, and while she was cleaning up, i asked if she'd do my Hep shot for me. "yeah, sure. but this wasn't vaccination you know"

Of course i knew. No vaccination is done like that...through an IV tube.

"What was it?" I asked.
"Chemo"

Chemo? Chemo. Cancer. Little girl with cancer. Rashmita. cancer. chemotherapy.

"what kind of cancer?" I managed to ask.
"Leukemia"

And she was such a sweetheart. I helped her off the bed, smiled at her and watched her walk out to her mother. I walked out a second later, shaking but not quite.

I wish i could heal.

no more icecream, chips, juice.

water and food exclusively from the mess.

gotta get in shape, going swimming.

rambles on kaup

went to kaup beach again, last saturday. i really need a camera. how many experiences here just go unrecorded because i dont have a camera.

me, ss and ps took off to the beach because we were, well, vela. which is something we fight against all the time here in manipal.

went up the lighthouse again, ps has a thing for the lighthouse beacon. says it reminds him of goa. it reminds me of the lighthouse at nofra. pleasant memories.

walking to the beach is awesome. i'm suddenly barraged with memories. the smell of the sea, the sea wind whipping my hair, the crows cawing, the coconut trees swaying, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore...

i think its because i grew up near the sea, and then went away for many many years. now that im finally around the sea, i know how to appreciate it.

spent two hours there, as a prelude to goa. swam in the sea, waded out neck deep. ran into several people from class. its a small world.

walked back from the beach to the bus stand. its a long road, took us thirty five minutes. one tiny road winding through this village. it was dark, and there weren't any street lights. quite freaky. we came to two or three forks in the road, and didn't know what to do until we scanned for the road with our cell phones. we were telling scary stories the whole time, it was awesome atmosphere.

took a bus back to udp, and another one to mpl.

funny incident :
ss, while paying the bus conductor, "cough up some cash man"
ps and me - pretend to cough, hacking away artificially
ss, "something a little more productive!"

hahaha. well you have to be a medical student to understand the pun on productive.

oh man. so much to write about.
need to tell about the whole hand raising practice when it comes to joking around.
and my first autopsy
soon, soon.

i hope this high never goes away.

list

well here's a list of stuff i will eventually get down to writing about:
wish i could remember chronology though

1. kudlu falls (leech attack!)
2. kudremukh falls (so tame after kudlu) (kudlu was really wild)

4. drvn
5. nishant the hottie, and kaup and other places (AHEM!)
6. vibes creative writing (came second!)
7. medicine postings
8. surgery postings
9. the loitering and joblessness that this place seems to be good for
10. narga's car
11. forensic workshop
12. long long overdue post about srishti at manipal (can you BELIEVE it?)
13. the meticulously planned goa trip

thirteen seems to be a good place to stop.
just got wifi in indira, so should get round to doing this soon.

i LOVE manipal! i will literally die when i have to leave.