Signum Vitalis

Signum Vitalis is the name of KMC's Magazine. Literally translated it means "Signs of Life". Pretty cool name, huh?

So anyway... I wrote something for the 2006 edition, but I don't know if it's good enough to make it in. The mag comes out only in October.

But I'm not gonna wait that long to put it up on my blog :) After all its something I wrote. So whether or not its published in Signum Vitalis, it WILL be published here:

TWO WEEKS WISER

Two weeks. That’s how long I’ve been here. And for all those who’re entering the portals of KMC for the first time, here is some information that you won’t find on the bulletin boards that the professors keep asking you to read all the time.

1. It rains here. Oh, you already knew about that? Read it on the website, huh? Well, its nothing like you ever imagined. I would say its worse than Cherrapunji, but I don’t want to anger the rain gods. Manipal is subjected to enough celestial thunder (no pun intended) without me soliciting more.

So, here’s how it works. It starts with you looking out of the window on a (seemingly) bright and sunny afternoon, thinking ‘Now’s a nice time to take my books (and laptop) to the library…’

You walk out naively, grabbing the umbrella as an afterthought, without even a cursory skyward glance. Trust me, its going to rain down on you. And chances are, it will happen when you’re atleast 15 meters away from any overhead projection that might offer a temporary refuge.

But you have your umbrella with you. If you’re lucky, you’ll also find that old windsheeter you hastily scrunched up into your backpack the day it rained so hard you almost caught pneumonia. Note that those two items will not help you in any way. They will deceive you in ways you never even dreamt of in your worst nightmares (yes, including those nightmares in which your cadaver lifts its right hand and pokes you in the eye with the fingernail of the index finger while simultaneously dripping cadaver fluid all over your new shoes).

Your umbrella will either refuse to open, or it will open grudgingly after its made sure that atleast fifty percent of your outer surface is wet. Also note that it is IMPOSSIBLE to find an umbrella that’s “big” enough. Either your backpack with be sticking out from the rain shadow area or the copious pleats of your patiala salwar will be wet and stuck together like the bedraggled feathers on wet crows.

It’s the Murphy’s law corollary applicable to Manipal:
If its raining, it will get wet.

The rainy season supposedly lasts only 3 to 4 months, but I’ll believe it only when I see it.

2. Another thing I learned about this place is that you should NEVER EVER walk around with food in your hand. This place is swarming with starving crows that couldn’t care less if they pierced your skin with their sharp beaks. No doubt the leftover mess food that is their (and our) regular sustenance is not nutritious enough to satisfy their hunger. Clearly they feel the primal urge to peck at whatever part of your body they can get at until you give up and throw your food in the air, at which point they forget about your existence. Which is why you should think twice before you venture outside with your breakfast clutched in your hands on a day that you woke up late on.



3. If you’re a first year student of Medicine, you will have Physiology Practicals. I would like to convey the fact that it is perfectly NORMAL to spill blood on your clothes, notebooks or other stationery. Shit happens. After all, you haven’t done very much until your Apron has a few stains on it. You might have some unpleasant experiences with frog muscles as well, but nothing can beat the joy of wearing an Apron that looks like it’s just come out of the Emergency Ward. It makes you feel way more important than a spotlessly clean Apron would.

4. It is important, in fact VITAL to have a good plan on your cell phone. Ideally, one which provides enough free (or almost free) messaging a day will serve the purpose delightfully. Don’t underestimate the power of an SMS. Sometimes, it’s the only thing keeping you awake in class during the indecently early lectures. It will also keep you up to date with homework assignments and provides a very convenient way to plan mass bunking. Its also a very reliable way to inform friends to get your attendance while you laze around in bed pretending its Sunday.

5. Another piece of advice that you might benefit from: Never sit in the first row of seats unless you’re absolutely sure you won’t fall asleep during the lecture. If you just can’t keep your eyes open, then the back rows (towards the corners) are the best place for you. You don’t want to unnecessarily put yourself (and the teacher) into uncomfortably embarrassing situations like the one illustrated below:

Teacher: “Hey you. Yes the red shirt in the second row. Stand up and tell us the origin and insertion of the Pectoralis major”
Red Shirt (stifling a yawn and bleary eyed): “Sir, it originates somewhere in the pectoral region…” (Pointing vaguely at several different sites on HIS pectoral region, hoping that the teacher’s myopic eyes will catch and focus only on the gesture corresponding to the correct answer).
Teacher squints at the class, hoping to call on someone who knows the answer so that he doesn’t have to waste too much time on the topic that he’s spent most his life on already.
Red Shirt is frantically rifling through his neighbor’s notes, hoping to chance upon the answer. 10 seconds later, realizing that its all greek and latin to him (no pun intended) he gives up and uses his last and final weapon.
Red Shirt: ‘Sir…actually Sir… we had so much homework in Physiology yesterday, I didn’t have time to revise anatomy.’
Teacher (growling) ‘Sit down!’

(Yes, most teachers have to be reminded frequently that theirs isn’t the only subject in First Year MBBS)


6. If you haven’t revised yesterday’s anatomy (The attachments of the muscles on the scapula), the best place to sit in Dissection Hall is right next to the teacher. This is the one and only case in which sitting next to the teacher can actually save you from the incessant questioning that occurs around the table, which can potentially put the Spanish inquisition to shame. If you’re sitting next to the teacher, YOU WILL NOT BE ASKED ANYTHING. Your teacher will assume that since you chose to sit right next to her, you have an inherent interest in anatomy, which she will construe to mean that you must have studied it all and therefore KNOW it all. She will point bones at everyone except the two people sitting on either side of her. Of course the disadvantage being that you have to get to DH ten minutes before class starts in order to bag those coveted seats. Conversely, the most dangerous place to sit in during DH is behind someone else. The teacher’s attention will be focused on you because she will assume you’re not paying enough attention, and I guarantee that all questions will make their way around the table (skipping the two positions mentioned earlier) and then settle squarely on your shoulders.


So, that’s the end of my Specific Advice. There’s always the common advice that everyone (from the fourth cousin of the Aunty next door whose nephew is a doctor; to your mom and dad) will throw at you atleast a couple of hundred times:

Make good friends (you need someone to give you notes for the classes you bunked). Eat well (Enough scope for that in Manipal… Too many options if you ask me. I have spent many breaks deliberating the topic only to realize in the end that its time for class again!!). Get some exercise (plenty scope for that as well, there are many endless corridors and flights of stairs to walk up and down on).

Remember, life at Med School doesn’t go down easily, but with a little ingenuity and a good selection of friends, you can learn to have fun. They say college is the best time of life. And we have more years than most other people!

Consider yourself lucky.

Questions and Answers

Wow! That's nice.. :) I guess you have already blended in with the new environment at Manipal. :)

I have some few questions for you,

Q1. How is the food at the mess? Do they offer non-veg? What do they serve for both veg and non-veg?

The food at the mess is like food at any mess. But its not BAD. I dont know about you, but as long as they give me food that's HOT, I can eat. So yeah. Also food is NOT a problem AT ALL, because there are tons of other options here... There's a food court on campus (Pizza Corner, Subway, Barrista etc)as well as a number of really cheap restaurants close by.

Food at the mess is VEGETARIAN, but Non veg can be got during all meals on order... that basically means you have to place an order at the counter, and you pay separately for it (which means its not included in your normal mess bill).

For that matter, plenty on vegetarian food (in terms of variety) is also available on order. So its basically like a cheap restaurant.

Q2. How is the teaching faculty? Do they use English as the medium of instruction at all times?

The faculty is VERY GOOD, even though most of them pick on me because a. I'm a backbencher and b. I talk A LOT. But class is always fun. We have great lecture halls in a building called the "Interact". They're centrally air conditioned, and some of us carry our laptops to class and use it to take notes.

And yes, due to the presence of a significant number of NRI's, ALL teachers use English as the teaching language. Infact over here I've started making a point of talking to my RI friends in Hindi so as to not lose touch with the language....

Q3. How is the hostel room? Are there any power cut-off or water shortage? Does the hostel building have a power generator??

Hostel rooms are pretty decent. i found no problems with them. We have double seater rooms, with attached bathrooms. We get hot water. And there are no power cuts here. I don't know if thats because of the backup or because there are no cuts, but theres never a problem with electricity supply here.

No water shortages either. We have solar heating facilities, as well as a back up process for days when its not sunnny.

So its good.

Life is good here!

My Laptop

They gave us our laptops yesterday evening. We went to Interact after Dissection class and entered 3d. We walked in and saw that each chair had this grey backpack sitting on it. I sat down somewhere and opened the one on my seat. It had my laptop (IBM thinkpad, R60) and the adaptor cord and charger and manual and stuff. WOW.

Even the bag is pretty cool. [EDIT: I was drunk on the laptop then. I realise now that neither the bag, nor the laptop are exceptionally special. No I take that back. The bag is exceptional in that its exceptionally UGLY and quite useless. 29th Feb 2008] Its a backpack, not a leather sling bag which is the type that people normally use to carry around their laptops. It has this special compartment that fits the comp, and apart from that there's place for other books and stuff. Its grey, and it has the Manipal logo on it and it also says "lenovo". Not bad at all.

Though the only bad part is that there are now atleast a thousand bags and laptops that are IDENTICAL. So if i carry this thing around with me, i have to make sure that I'm very careful. Thats not a very difficult thing for me.

So when I got to the library, to get someone to configure my comp for the wifi, i was told that the guy who knew how to do had already left and would be back only next day. WHOA. I was so disappointed...I had been WAITING to get online.

So i was like FUCK OFF, I'm gonna get this thing to work, and I sat there and switched the machine on and started looking for wifi related stuff. i found a lot of things, and eventually figured out how to get it to work! Like I was suddenly connected to the net, and my friends were like "SHOW ME HOW". So I did it for like 5 other people.

When stuff like this happens I feel so COOL!!!

HAHA

I'm just really really kicked about everything right now which is why I'm so hyperactive.

It feels so good to type man

Later

At Manipal

My laptop isn't here yet, so I'm posting from a cafe. Hopefully the laptops will be issued to us by next week, and it should get better then.

I've moved into hostel, its really nice, even though its the cheapest available. I have an attached bath which i have to share _just_ with my room mate. Who's this really nice chick doing Post Grad in Psychiatry, so she's never around. I've pretty much got the room to myself.

There are tons of people here that I know already. And R managed to get a transfer here from Mangalore.

Mom left last night. Dad called and said that they'd come visit some time next month, but I'm doing really well by myself here.

There is ragging here, except that its called an _interaction_. And it never gets worse than "Introduce yourself to us in hindi". I havent been ragged yet, and all this is just heresay. Part of the ragging includes not being able to visit the _very_ sexy library, which i think is mean and stupid on their part.

I have a white coat (called an apron) with a nice name plate and all. when we walk into the labs its like I'm already a doctor. it feels good.

Lectures are held in the "Interact" building, and the rooms inside AC, with internet points and projecter, and ccomputers etc. and the tables are arranged semi circular projectors with nice cushiony chairs. nice, huh?

Made a couple of friends.

Feels good to be online after so long. But I must go.

Later