The truth

new. music makes you think in new ways.. it can lift you up till you're flying above all the people on the ground, flying above the sky. flying in the endless light of the sun.

my sacred time of the day is when i listen to my music. music that makes me feel like im above the rest of the things on earth. music makes me trip. i trance in and out of dreams. vivid images and feelings, a new reality, a new universe.

the truth is, i'm lonely. still lonely. im starting to doubt myself, everything i've done over the last few years, even the time before goa. especially the time before goa. who did i grow up into? its a scary thought, and i dont like to debate with myself because im scared i'll find that i prefer one side more than the other.

what am i doing. will i pass this year? wish you were here...

but you're gone, forever. gone forever. and i cant forget how we used to be, and what we could have been. no, im not in love with you. im in love with perfection and i guess i thought you had it in you to be perfect for me. and maybe you were. maybe you are. maybe you'll always be. but thats over now. gone. doesn't exist.

things are different. i cant be what i wanted to be around you. even though i wish i could do that. i wish i could talk to you honestly and tell you exactly what you mean to me. tell you what i think im my head when im alone, when im listening to my music, lost in fantasy? its all the wrong kind of things, impossible things, immoral things.

now i cant believe you're gone and all i can do is watch you as you grow more and more distant as days pass. someday, it'll seem like all of this never existed, that it was all just a wonderful midsummer night's dream. a powerful dream that left me addicted to it.

i drank from your cup of dreams, drank in the look in your eyes, when you looked at me like all that matters was this one moment. me standing there looking into your eyes. im afraid to say your name now. afraid of what confessions my voice will make when i say it.

what would be the point anyway? it would serve no purpose to tell you. it would just make us both feel bad, for we both know the truth for what it is. and i miss you, but you'll never know. and you can bring me to my knees, tonight.

And you can bring me to my knees...Again

All the times when I could beg you please....In vain

All the times when I felt insecure....For you

And I leave my burdens at the door

i've lost you, and i'll have to deal with it alone. standing on the roof, screaming at the stars. thats what i'll do. burning photographs and memories. you meant more to me than i should have let you. its my price to pay.

come back to me. in another world, a different universe. i'd like to believe that you're mine, forever.