homesick

what a horrible start to the year

i DINT get kvpy

and im back in college now, except who knew it would feel so bad?
i miss home so much, i miss my parents, i feel incredibly guilty for not having been their ideal child.

it wasn't so bad when mom left me here and went the first time. i guess at that point i was so relieved that my gap year was over, and that i was finally doing something worthwhile that i probably felt very positive about being away from home.

But now, that's all so far behind me, all i can do is look ahead and see 6 months of endless class, without break. its a long long time. forget that, what about the next five years?

when i got here, in an auto from TC, and he drove down the road to Sharada, i was suddenly so depressed, looking at that stupid road.

my parents are old. i want to be home looking after them. monetarily. quickly. as soon as possible. but its gonna take forever, like another 10 years.